


ORIGINAL - How Palpatine Developed His Permanent Twitch

by Kitty_Shinju (Queen_Kit)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Childhood, Don’t copy to another site, Father-Son Relationship, GFY, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-30
Updated: 2008-05-30
Packaged: 2019-11-08 20:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17987921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Kit/pseuds/Kitty_Shinju
Summary: Originally posted on my Fanfiction Net account, I'm moving the first draft version here because I don't want to delete it.This is a CRACKFIC. A humorous interpretation of what could happen with a young Luke staying with his dad and Palpatine and learning to be evil. Newly brought over!





	ORIGINAL - How Palpatine Developed His Permanent Twitch

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. In fact I don't even remember most of Star Wars, ducks various objects thrown by fanatics. So, erm, yeah… the characters are OOC AND on crack. (grins) YAY!
> 
> AN: My sister is the Priestess of Crackfics and has baptized my fic in the Letters of Crackness  
> "This story was born from the Crack, raised by the Crack, and will forever live in the ways of the Crack.  
> I baptize it in the name of the Crack, the Insanity, and the OOC Chaos.  
> May the Crack be with you all.  
> Amen."

Darth Vader was a very happy man. He may have lost Padmé all those eight years ago, but now he had found and commandeered the legal rights for his son Luke Vader, formerly Skywalker.

They were on the Emperor's private vessel and Vader decided that Luke needed to learn to be properly evil like his father, or, as Palpatine would think, Palpatine. So, armed with only water balloons and a conspiratorial wink from his father's Force generated image of his uninjured self (that only Luke could see) to combat boredom, Little Luke followed Emperor Palpatine along on his daily, boring, political, and monotonous duties.

After watching several people get electrocuted for bad work little Luke finally figured out why his father seemed to think that the water balloons would teach him to be evil and conquer his eight year-old boredom. He covered a smile as he used his limited powers of the force to maneuver the balloon over Palpatine and caused it to burst, just as he was about to electrocute his next victim. Palpatine spun around and now Luke realized another part of being evil, Shifting blame onto the innocent.

"You did that didn't you, you little brat!" Palpatine growled

"No I didn't! It was him!" Luke said pointing at a random Storm Trooper who just happened to be standing to his left.

As Palpatine turned his wrath onto this new victim Luke dropped another balloon.

"That one had to be you!"

"No, it was him!" he said pointing to a storm trooper conveniently at his right side.

Palpatine was again full of anger. Luke readied another balloon and quickly smothered a giggle.

* * *

Being evil was definitely more fun than being a Moisture Farmer and even better Palpatine developed a permanent twitch.  
Luke was a very happy eight year-old and Vader was a  _very_  proud father.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Not quite sure HOW Vader Commandeered the rights for Luke or if that's even really the right verb to use there, but I liked the word so I used it… Even if I'm pretty sure it isn't the word I was really looking for.
> 
> A short that I couldn't work into the fic...  
> "Luke," Vader rasped through the mask that regulated his breathing and made his voice sound all cool and evil, "I am your Fatter.""What?!" Luke yelped in surprise."Yes." Vader said darkly, "That means that not only are we related, but I have a lot of gas."  
> He paused and a fart was heard.  
> "Excuse me."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [How Palpatine Developed his Permanent Twitch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5639914) by [Queen_Kit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Kit/pseuds/Queen_Kit)




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